empty dreams

he always wondered what they meant
when they said, “may all your dreams come true!”
he never knew, if it was his nightly dreams
or his life long desires, which were referred to
because night time dreams, were just a mixture
of meaningless mixed up, day time events
combined with life time desires
and past times occurred
and emotions un vent
and if dreams were that
then what were his life dreams to be,
if he had not dreamed it yet?
it would seem that the dreams they referred to
were more than the colours he saw in his night time bed
but were supposed to be
his hopes, and plans, which lay ahead
of which he had none
as the life sucking
breath sapping, activity
between day dreams
and night dreams
consumed him, to death

22 June 2007

In remebrance of her

i saw her once, i had heard she was sick but,
i was still shocked when i saw her
she used to have so much energy, robust and ready for anything that came her way

as time went on she was getting weaker, holding on to her sanity as if it were life itself

her arms were getting too heavy for her body
her eyes were sunken deep in her face
she constantly seemed to grasping at our reality, her sanity

i went to her bed side, desperate for some physical contact
as i bent low for a hug, i realized that her hands were getting too heavy for her,
close as i was she still could not put her hands on my face
her skin was powder, flacky to the touch

i tried not to show how sick she looked, especially when i saw how hard she tried to bring her mind to the present
to have a decent conversation
she constantly looked worried, scared of the unknown
as i spoke to her, she was in her own world, the world only she could be in
her hands full of fresh soars, puss pushing itself out as she tried to smooth her gown
wanting to touch her but not being sure about where to touch where i would not be hurting her

as she sunk on the bed and disappeared in the blankets
i knew this would be the last time i saw her
not even sure she knew who she was talking to
not wanting to see this pathetic body that used to be a personality
not this goofy almost nervous grin she would at this stage give to anyone

i did not want to see this immitation of her body, her soul, i belived,
having left her body light years away
i tried to act normal, everyone depserately trying to graps at the once normality

i missed everything about her,the way she used to tease me about my imperfect body
how she was the kid's favorite aunt
always smilling never letting any of her pain show
to an extent she was still the same person i used to know
her grin was a way of her still trying to hide her pain.

they had to feed her now, hold the spoon, feed her
tasteless soup like food
put a straw in her energy drink or water,
she was back to being a two year old
being dressed, bathed and having everyone faffing over her,
was she comfortable?
warm enough?
she could not be left alone anymore, constantly needing a nanny at her beck and call

i left before my good memories of her were erased by this sight.
i wanted to cry but felt that if i did i would have been mourning her death before she died
and yet i felt that she had already died
we were all just waiting for the call
the call that would tell us that she had died
as sad as that was it was so true that neither of us wanted to admitt it to the other.

so i left feeling helpless and at a loss for this once extremely incredible person
and as much as i left early not wanting to have that image as my last memory
just like i wanted this poem to be a reflection of this person
it ended up being the exact opposite of that

26/11/2007

Friends

How I need you,
Even when you are robbing me
Of soul and body,
I need you

I need you to want me
I need you to use me, not misuse me,
For I too bleed,
When crimes of heart batter, remember that hurt
As I feel it
For me
For you

The reason I am your companion in strife is simple
I love you
I want to heal your pain
I want to crush your demons,
And I can

But never forget I need you
To love me as I you

Generation X

This is the start of a new era
we are a new breed
a generation of people
who doesn't even bleed.

It's not a single kind,
nor a color or a creed.
The best way to describe it is
we are the plants' weed.

Not springing up
like the kind we're supposed to.
What we're really meant to be
we don't  really come close to.

Sometimes it makes me wonder
where we're gonna end up.
Heading nowhere fast,
and I'm just lain fed up.

A generation of babies
that kill babies.
A generation of men
that hate ladies.

A generation of people
who hate people.
A generation of lives
with no sequel.

My unborn child

I can’t wait to hear the pitter-patter
And titter-tatter
Of little feet upon the floor,
What the sex will be it doesn’t matter.
Whether a boy or girl,
It’s going to fulfill my world.

To just wake up every morning
And know that they’re there
He depends on me
And I know she needs me there.

I just hope God grants me wisdom
To be all I need to be
To be able to provide
All it is they need from me.

No matter what may happen
Where or how the future leads
As long as I have them
They will always have me…

Friday, August 17, 2007

Follow your ARTline

Whether its music or poetry
rhyming or floetry,
written or spoken parts
drama or graphic arts.
Follow the works in your mind, meaning,
follow your art line.

Follow your soul as it moves you,
your spirit as it carries you,
your heart as it leads you and
your mind as it is you.
Do not follow every other line, but
follow your art line.

For the verses that you write wants to be written,
the words you speak wants to be spoken,
the music you write wants to be played and
the drama you do wants to be made.
But don't portray whatever seems just fine,
coz whatever you do,
follow your art line.

For art imitates life, and
life imitates art.
So whichever part you play,
make that part your part.
Whatever lines you say,
make that lines your lines
and in doing so
follow your art line.

Where you're from does not describe you
what you do does not define you
who you know does not become you,
its who you are that makes you.
Its the path you walk and way you live,
but however you do it.
Follow your art line

Fake Friendship

I meet it one night and allow it straight into me
Its presence surprisingly welcomed as I allow it to set free
At first its cautious and allows me to control
It makes me feel fulfilled, excited and whole
I embrace it and care for it and let it hold my hand
It makes me feel in power of its weird and wonderful land
It keeps me company, no matter what time or where
When I'm sad it loves me and strokes my hair
Its embrace is always so welcoming and warm
It encourages me to reach new heights and form
I dont know what I'd do without it in my life
I'm the fork and its my knife
Its starting to become demanding but I dont mind
It needs me with it, I cant leave it behind
……………………………………………………..
I liked it, I loved it but now its becoming unfair!!
Its asking to much and stripping me bare!
I'm tired now, I want it to go
Its using me, turning me into a hoe
I no longer feel like I'm in charge of what we had
Now I have to do what it says or else it'll get mad!
It tricked me into thinking that I was its friend
But now its taken over, and my life is near its end

Lost and Alone Without You

The pain inside of me is overbearing and strong
What on earth could have possibly gone wrong?
You no longer want to be that important part of my life
The thought slices through me like the cut of a knife
Each day I wake up and realise you're no longer there
The realisation so painfull, its more than I can bare
I feel as if you are a part of me now
And without you I no longer know how
I suddenly feel lost and alone
Everyday my life sets with a sadfull tone
Life has been sucked out of me and I'm quiet and withdrawn
My heart no longer whole, now tattered and torn
The last thing I want to do is move on
I love you and want you, and want to hold on
I wish I could make something be done
And somehow we could still be one

Life Flashes

Life flashes me as it passes by
Blinding for a moment
The irritation subsides
My vision returns in patches
Revealing;
Light through fissures, through crevices of my mind
Falling upon the beauty
I’ve been blind, too
Wrapped up in the complexities
Not seeing the intricate patterns formed
Misinformed my malformed thoughts caught in the societal trap
Crap!
The only way the die fell in my view
Near yet far: goals lie
Just out of reach
Leaching me of hope and trust,
Faith and patience,
Thrusting me towards a rope
To swing or hang from
Escape…
From what exactly?
Transformed, now I stand
Out of clutching regrets, frets
Rescued by life’s exhibitionism

Strangers tangled into friends

Three strangers almost tangled into friends

We talking at the same time
bearing our heart breaking life’s

We talk and we walk
through our past
of darkness

So much hurt
are now bursting
with strangers, almost tangled into friends

Hearts and souls connect
like no one could predict
over and over we go through the pain
as we make our claim

And we know
we are together
Tangled forever
living our life’s together
forever
Strangers tangled into friends.