i have a secret

I wish you could just understand my situation
As complex as it is, it just calls upon more complications
This is not how I want us to be,
Not how I want you to be, not how I want things to be
When I get silent at times its not that I don’t want to speak
When I tell u lies it’s not because I want to lie to you
It’s because I know you can’t handle the truth
I understand your anger because I too get angry at myself, time and time again
It’s not as simple as it may seem to be because it’s all pain and pain
I get afraid to cry when I am with you, I’m afraid you won’t understand why I cry
And I know you won’t even cry the same level with me
Because I have a secret, one I cannot tell
Rejection is what I fear the most, I too am a human.

When true evil comes

When true evil claws at your door what face will it have
Will it be a comprehension of all your most unpleasant nightmares
Will it resonance like blood curdling on the back of a winged creature
Will it fill the dark corners around your soul where fear dwells

Will evil call your name with a voice as innocent as a child
Triumph tones reminding you of a mislaid cord on the church organ
Is its smile unnervingly similar to one you trust or love so well
It filled with eternal enjoyment leaching off your fear like darkness
swallows the light

Will you distinguish evil as it stares you in the face
Will you ignore the voice screaming in your mind warning you of its presence
True evil does not ask your permission it takes as it wills
True evil does not care how you are feeling or will it be willing to negotiate

True evil will wait until you least expect it
When it comes it takes everything you hold dear
Focusing of the innocents in your life first to destroy your hope
Don’t think death will save you because evil will not kill you
Evil will keep you alive for just long enough for you to see and feel the whole thing

Torturing you until you pray for death, beg for death and start wanting to take death into your own hands
True evil is already waiting for you to make a mistake and trust
In your home, playing with your children at school
In your friends and family
And evil is in you

Why you surprised
Did you not know
We fear you
Or are we the evil ones playing with your mind and
How would you know

When true evil comes
It will not be anything you could have ever imagined
Your religion will not have the answers and you will stand alone

Your only hope is to listen
Not to me
To that voice
In your head
can you hear it?
Listen

Fear

The night burns in its wake,
Stone and glass ebb from its seams,
The sky is radiantly filled,
Before tearing itself away.

The smoke is blinding,
There is nothing to touch and I feel nothing,
Everything turns red and melts,
I stand alone before it.

My voice echo’s against the darkness,
Resounding before a deafening silence,
Bound into captivity,
I call but no one hears.

My Night Time Fear

It hunts me in my sleep
Chases me further and further
Until I get in too deep
I try hide but it keeps finding me
I kick and push
Trying to break free
What does it want?
No time for questions
It finds me once again,grabbing me from the front
Its grip tightning around my struggling limbs
Blood starts pouring down my pale skin
As its nails dig savagely into my flesh
I try free my arm from its hungry grip
But it holds me down
Allowing me to only trip
It soon pulls me up by my blood stained hair
And I'm immediately hurled into the cold dark air
My head then suddenly gets ploughed into the earth
My body getting thrown around as if its no worth
I feel disorientated and weak
I try to clear my face from the blood pouring off my cheek
I search deep inside for the strength to fight
But then suddenly my chest feels suffocated and tight
Somehow its got its hands firmly around my neck
Squeezing with such a terrifying power
Its body looming over me like an intimidating tower
My body soon runs out of the last of its hope
No longer able to cope
My vision is now filled with me leading down a deathly dark tunnel
Sucking me up as if being drawn through a funnel
And all I can do is open my mouth and scream
Soon after being awoken to just a bad dream

Meeting

How plain how simple,

Not,

It holds you prisoner

Captive to others expectations

Will they like me,

Will I make the grade

Please let me make the grade

I love them

Please please love me

love is fear

Searching for an answer above
It’s like a story of love
You feel happy and strong
Until something goes wrong

Looking out the window of love
In the sky, flies a white dove
Searching for an objective
Love found another perspective

What’s the meaning of being secure?
If your loved ones can’t always be here
Love is so hard to throw away
It burns us when we think of that day

Still we believe in what it is
The warmth that it gives
But when it is taken
We turn into the forsaken  

Drifting

Its like a dream yet I feel it in reality
Deep inside I wanna cry, but wont let it show
I see it coming cause its written in her eyes
Though she tries to hide but her eyes says it all
Deep in her voice its hidden
A funny smile gives it away
Slowly and surely I feel her drifting
Her voice echoing from the other side

death

I am afraid…
I can see Death with my naked eyes,
There she sits, all dressed in black.

I am afraid she still finds her way here
She holds a dim lit candle in her left fist…
And her right fist is free to strike home again…

Trapped

I live within a dark cloud.
I see no other existence…
I cry.
I scream.
I even whisper through a thought.
But you do not notice me.
You do not see the person hiding behind this creature.
She is evil.
She is beauty.
But she devours all essence of joy from you.
I'm trapped.
See me.
See me through the window of her doomed soul.
Do not get trapped within the blaze of her fiery eyes.

Her look is deceiving.
Her words are poison.
All she has to offer is the pain of loving what you can't get.
Kill her inside.
Free me from this cage.
Help find the way out.
All is lost for her and me.
Do not try to save this being.
Save yourself.
Save your soul.
Save your love for those who would take care of it.

Leave her so she will burn within her mind.
She will die and never know the true feeling of love.
Love, I miss that feeling.
It's so cold here without it.
Yet hell lives within her mind…

Eternal pain and darkness will roam within this vessel.
Doomed is her existence.
Empty is her heart and sad is her eyes…..

Free Spirit

As a free spirit my body and mind would dance the fields
Full of joy and happiness run over fresh grass of green
But slowly as time wore on my feet become leaden
Slowly they became rooted in the clay beneath
Until one day I was rooted where I stood
My arms and body turned to stone

But then came another free spirit prancing around my leaden bows
Flirting through my heavy branches laden with fear and worry
And every time she came along my spirits would soar
My soul brighten at the love and happiness around
But sadly she would disappear every so often
Leaving my leaden branches to sag

And in all these times of loneliness my heart would yearn for my spirit to return
One day she came so briefly and slowly flitted away to a distance
She beckoned for me to come, to join her dance
My feet filled with fear and trepidation tried
Slowly they would move a step
A slow creep to freedom

Finally my desire moved away completely a whisper in the distance
She wanted and willed me to move so far so fast so alone
My feet moved but a few inches, a tiny step
And then a bit more ever closer and closer
I stood between my roots and my love
I could not move and called for her to fetch me

I stand here too scared to go back to scared too go ahead
Rooted once again calling to my love
Come fetch me come make me move
I need the hand and heart to pull me
To move me into her dream
Will she come get me?