Shredded

Shredded

Standing on a ridge were screams eco loneliness throughout
The blackened mist that smothers my soul from the inside out
Weakened I stand lost without the might I once heeled
Shield-less life surmount me on its battlefields

How did I become this way
Falling to one knee as I start to pray
God I thought you brought her into my life to keep for sure
But now all what is left is soars of regret,
And wishes that we never met

Shredded this heart of mine is done
Dreams of a true love, is all gone

A Dream…

I dreamt about my state of being..
a dream so spiritually fulfilling it portrayed what I wanted to be fourth-coming in my life,
yet my current reality is a blurry vision, I fail to see what I have become,
maybe I have failed to see the sunshine that shun through the laces behind the curtain that shadowed my life.
The dream was twisted but the bright vision left my hopes of liberty lifted,
liberty so uplifting I had to wake up and script it,
But I woke up to a nightmare whereas there was no light illuminating the room,
darkness left me afraid of what my life is turning into,
too afraid to admit to myself that  I had a dream of fulfilling my soul-purpose of greatness and my fears killed it.
Too afraid to stare into the face of failure,
Too afraid to admit that I am not a victim of circumstance but suspect of consequence, Too afraid to face the blunt truth that indiscretion, wrongdoing, transgression has destroyed a young seed that was once so pure,
That dream was too simple to be intelligible,
I could have woken up to a miraculous dream turned credible.
I cannot run from my past forever for the wheel of my morality has completed its revolution, it’s now inevitable,
So I write this poem to document the happenings of the soul-entity I once was…
A hero?
A great man?
An idol?
Doubts riddle my mind for I am not great, I am no-one’s hero, and I am not an idol-poet!
A pain-stricken child who lived a life of fear of the great truths that dwelt within him,
Take away my sunshine, I will cry
Leave me with dark clouds promising floods of pain and suffering, I will die
Take away this dream of mine, a dream I based my whole life on, I will have nothing to live for…
A life of no dreams is a life with no cause…
I need to go back to my eternal slumber to remember this vivid dream clearly and bring life in this world to a permanent pause…
Because living my life to keep others happy when I’m in their presence was not part of the clause!
Born in the morning thus Living in a Dream and Dying in the dusk of a Nightmare,
I woke up from this dream to a damp pillow for I cried in my sleep,
It hurt me because I woke up to a realization that my dream will forever remain exactly that… A Dream
And perhaps that bright beaming light I witnessed was a portal to freedom and I failed to escape, is that why I feel trapped in my dream…
It’s a Beautiful Dream to Live but A Terrible Nightmare I am Living…
Please wake me up,
Please wake me up,
Please Wake Me Up…

TORN

I am torn into two worlds,
divided I try to multiply
myself in each. Day by day
participation in both worlds
diminishes, adding to confusion.
Yes, I am torn in two
not knowing where I exist.

I am torn into many pieces
I find myself here and
there, occupying spaces but
for a moment. Dismantled
I only hope to be made
whole. Many I touch
like raindrops, but constant like
a river I should be.

I am torn, thrown into a fog
unsure what to expect. With
my vision blurred passion
the speed I lose. Slowing
down seems to be the
solution. For bonds I have
drive me into bondage.

*tOrMeNtInG*

*tattered and torn am i in this god forsaken empty hollowed out pit, my fears overdrive me, when my escape shuts behind your unseen diluted eyes.
*dark is the night into which i feast upon, only to beckon a new unfulfilled day in which my twisted life seems to fall in all eyes above and beyond me…
*alas i am drawn to the sharp and fertile face, the now and corrupted mind in me, take me oh evil one, take me to my doom and make me the fuck-up that i am…
*i am the worthless pathetic fool beneath you, the way your eyes pierce between my two bounding knuckles, i am selfless.
*rip my heart out my flesh, burn it, torment me, for it is truly unworthy of your advisory.
*take me away from you, make me unseen to all and to all who wishes, male them beg for i am none.
*none of which i make sense of, my life, so vague and pointless that i have come to you for salvation and yet there you stand and tear me apart like thousands of times before…*