HOWS, WHENS AND WHYS OF UNCERTAINITY

As i page through my yeserdays mental pages
  Matters unfold like letters from home
Some brightning like sunlight and
separated from some dark like the night sky…
ke starte kae…?

I try to scribble this down with ink
on a blank piece of sheet, all flowing out is shit
My mind screaming, people peeping,
Squaking, thinking maybe i have a couple of screws loose
…but who's this man that keeps on boomeranging in my mind,some
say he is my dad,well,i should be glad
  but this is actually bad 'cause ghosts from the past he bears
  He bears them naked before me, i try to cover my eyes
the site is not nice; I'm afraid the truth of the past will crowd my today
  and future with doubts…
Now my mind is filled with hows and whys
  and whens when i try to stipulate
  and speculate, calculate…
What actually drove me to be a poet….