Glass Vol2

Or am i really the shatterproof soundproof glass? Blocking sound so i can't hear, your rejection, your judgement towards me, switching off my connectivity level to stop feeling that you don't care! Have i crafted my own bench of despair padded with soft cushions of security and fear. Playing host to my own pity party,…afraid to step fast the line of surety and certainty. Is there really a glass, or am i it….

Breaking the circle

Once we were one ;it came to pass
We in a huddle friends at last,hate to be seen
Friends pre redeemed…
Oval circles became the means to be freed.

Once I was young ;innocent ,unknown
Age took its toll the world gave me a new goal.
World in its awe,beauty and twists
Me ;a person of habits;pain be dismissed.
Life owes me pleasure, pain and dispair.
Give what is mine.I declare !

Habitual person are we all
Never to be freed from the bonds of the more
We always want ,we always desire
What we always want will transpire
Seek revenge on the cherub who say
I will look after you till the end of days.

Dead in a void my body is still
Commit to the earth,compost at will
Binding body breaking into pieces
Breaking the cycle will never be equal.
This is the life we all will lead
Come back reincarnated ; maybe a seal.

Here today

Here today
gone tomorrow
by choice
you choose death over life

I stand back
shocked
Yet in awe
How much strength did you gather
to do such a deed

Courage I feel
fear I understand
despair drives us all
Life ends for each of us
one way or another

Wait for me
i’ll see you soon.

Drowning

Like an unwanted leak
A tear runs down the cheek
Emotions no longer able to be held back
Body seizing up as if in attack
It's like something invisible holding you down
Keeping you under, nearly making you drown
You try get up but you just keep falling
It's like the sadness inside of you keeps on calling
Suddenly you take a gasp of air
Body now feeling in major despair
Feels like there is nothing you can do
A puddle of sadness surrounds you
Want to give in and feel there's no hope
It keeps pushing you under, making it hard to cope
You try your hardest to try stay above
Thinking of all the people you love
The more you fight it, the deeper you go
Thoughts in your mind moving to and fro
But suddenly you feel frightenly free
No more struggle, where could you be…?

Glue sniffer

There’s my street child
but for grace.
I thought,
snot encrusted face.
Wondered where
glue he bought.
Rural escapee, township despair,
matted hair.
Who mattered not
at pedestrian’s stare.
Reduced, nothing more
maddened look
Torn brown hand me downs,
hanging,
Bones on hips,
one hand from air to mouth
pointed  fingers on thumb
banging lips
demanded, unfed.
Poverty stricken authority,
dirty fingers, maddened laugh
clutching empty juice plastic, filled half,
Stringy snot coloured glue
dented, cheeks, covering rim,
dead eyes, black dim
against city sky,
dirty orange sunset hue.
They ask;
“Did you
give him money
to buy more glue?”

22 May 2007

In need of healing

Feelings of loneliness, emptiness and despair.
No right paths only wrong.
At the bridge of insanity, I stare.
Thoughts of suicide I can`t bare.
My days are sad and blue, feels like a curse I cant break through.
I paint pretty pictures in my mind but they all come crashing down, for there`s darkness all around me.
Am I insane?
Could I be losing my mind?
Am I paranoid and pessimistic?
This could be true for I`ve lost my identity and I don`t know what to do.
All I want is "love"
"Love" to heal my soul and make my heart whole again.
"Love" to make me secure and content.
"Love" to make all the hurt go away.
and "love" to make my days happy and bright once again.
As much I want to feel loved.I can`t because I`m all messed up feeling cornered and crushed.

A Spring Day Without Hope

Rotten fog floats on the air,
The road covered by cosmos branches,
Mind filled with despair;
Tumble, arise, tumble again.

The heart bleeds,
Saliva flows inside the veins,
The heart is wounded
Waiting for its cure.

The desolate being wait in anxienty
For the sweetheart to return
And stay in her rightful dwelling,
Cure mine wounded soul with love;
Wipe mine blood with her hair.

walking alongside darkness

It hits me that my bedroom has been crammed;
with pain, torture and despair.
It hits me that my window does not allow sunlight inside my room;
It hits m that my whole being is being brutalised;
and then silenced,
for it might disturb others.

It is fear;
It manifests itself as my worst enemy.
It is fear,
It does not allow me to be a pioneer,
and go beyond frontiers.
It is fear,
It hates the side of self love;
coz self-love sets me free.

I leave my room;
intending to meet that is appealing to my heart,
but I find shame in my heart.
Shame that tortures my being so much
Shame that masters self hatred
Shames that takes me away from myself
and only allows my breath
It is…………..

It is fear,
We die dreaming;
but fear kills your dreams before you die.
It is fear,
It takes humanity and mocks it for all its good deeds;
iT IS Fear that takes away our talents.

I have decided to rip it off,
To be courageous and face its disfigured face
I have decided that my dreams will b reawakened
I have decided to offer myself the gift of self-love.
I have decided to touch others' life
It is because I have decided to live without my robber…..
FEAR