Glass Vol2

Or am i really the shatterproof soundproof glass? Blocking sound so i can't hear, your rejection, your judgement towards me, switching off my connectivity level to stop feeling that you don't care! Have i crafted my own bench of despair padded with soft cushions of security and fear. Playing host to my own pity party,…afraid to step fast the line of surety and certainty. Is there really a glass, or am i it….

Inspired by Pholosho

It is in Poetry where we find the truth,
    In God where we find that portion of it that will set us free,
in Judgement where we find no room for The Lie.

Standing on the Edge of a Diamond fall,
    Evil crawls only to peep,
for Fear is embedded in Death,
  and the (D)evil afeared of G(o)od,
     sends out all he has,
but it isn't enough,
for We, the Chosen, still hope,
    even when demons judge us and show us the rope.
We fail Tasks… not God…
As a friend once said,"it's not failure, it's success deferred,"
coz failure happens, when we fail Life, not ourselves.

Here today

Here today
gone tomorrow
by choice
you choose death over life

I stand back
shocked
Yet in awe
How much strength did you gather
to do such a deed

Courage I feel
fear I understand
despair drives us all
Life ends for each of us
one way or another

Wait for me
i’ll see you soon.

The Entrance door and Exit Door of a Cina

The Entrance and exit of my coma

Selfish behavior! After all in worldly standards I had it all. With the exception of having my loved one back this pain haunted me and controlled the lack of hope in life. Finally this suicide attempt will succeed, my life of living without this pain was awaiting me, or so I thought No note this time, it’s far too dramatic, left my home fresh and sparkling. I had to be found in the same conditions that I had lived, that was of great consequence to me.

My last conscious memories I had before inserting the IV drip into my arm, slowly releasing the deadly poison refining it as it had a place of destiny. I was calm, had no fear in me and as the poison poured into me, plausible was the only emotion that I felt awaiting a world of blissful familiarity, as when I was a child. Those were my last moments, I had no hope within me, as hope creates dreams and dreams become reality.  

Instead I had no comprehension of the mammoth unexpected journey I would endure. From the time I lost consciousness and was officially in a coma, my mind and soul went on a voyage. Sounds unreal but my journey was one compared with being in a rollercoaster cart. Not on a rollercoaster as we know it, but rather a ride through hell. Darkness, destruction, immense evil and I the nominee when committing these vile acts. I knew I was in hell. This unfamiliar life, the perversion and evilness which I was physically experiencing while in a coma, was my most fear provoking reality in my soul. I had to face and overcome those fears The cart took me further, this time an out of body experience where I could see them trying to save my life, doctors shaking their heads, my only love just standing in shock and seeing little hope of survival

Funny how I heard my mom and loved one when they  disagreed   about what music I should listen to, My mother constantly praying and my loved one constantly reassuring me of his love, I witnessed it all whilst being in a coma.

Days later the pain eventually stopped when I was faced with a clear choice in my subconscious, kneeling in a room which resembled a planetarium, the question: do you want hope or do you want to enter into the other realm. I chose hope. That apparently was more of less the time I woke from my coma.
The miracle child I am called, my brain was not functioning and the amount of poison should have killed a horse. Now I look back cheating death, several times I tried yet this time it was not like before. I awoke from the coma, quite aware of what was said and done around me, which was a mystification to all. I now await my fate and the task that God ordained me to act upon. I too have a ticket to heaven that no thief can take, an eternal home that no divorce can break.

live now

All you have to do is to live
Just take it one day at a time
Take slow footsteps as you go to fetch
The water from the river
I know you have to walk 4 kilometres
Just to get the water and that extra 2kilometers
To catch the bus
All you have to do is to live.

Even if this virus is moving through your veins
You are still fertile, don’t let fear fool you
The fact remains, you will never fail if you believe.
I will stand for you when you can’t stand, feel free
I will fetch the water, I will cook for you, dress you and
Take you to the bus.
All you have to do is to live.

I know you are foreign to me, please don’t be
Frightened by my face, I am from a friendly faculty
I will bring you fruit from the forest.
Forget me not my friend; I shall fulfill all my promises
All you have to do is to live.

So you have no one: no family, no friends and
Your virus is now fully blown, you feel that these are
Your last days, NO! Don’t freeze my friend, you can’t give up now
I‘ve got your first aid let us move forward
We need to catch that bus, we can’t foretell the future
Tell me no lies, fake no feelings.
I will always be here for you.
All you have to do is to live.

When you feel very weak, I will take a leave from work
I will tell them that you my dear brother/sister need me
I will water your plants; hold your hand till the end.
All you have to do is to live.

Rude awakening

Danger arises
Fear dismay
Oh what have you done
Latter unfold
Missions obtained
Grass gone greener
Man grown beard
Children can walk
Oh no this means evolution is in action

So you won with reasonable doubt
You rule the earth
Your power transcends through out the world
Believable that “one” yes one can make a change
A change so visible that no man can over look

There you stand so visible for all to see
Is this the day that all have been waiting for?
Do I shout (scream) for joy or cry out of fear
For a day like this was made known to all
But faith was never our first priority

So I’m ready for you and your wish is my command
So I have become your clay and you can finally mould me in your image
For fear I have overcome
Danger ceases
You have come to leave no more
Thank you for making your presence known.

When Johnny died

When Johnny died
All the little kids cried
For the hero, villains fear
Was no longer here

And I don’t know what to do
I said I don’t know what to do-do
All the little things they gathered
Turned Johnny into the bruised and battered

In the middle of the night
All the little kids tried
Even the non-believer Dave
To dig into Johnny’s grave

And I don’t know what to do
I said I don’t know what to do-do
Johnny’s grave in the cemetery
Was all but empty

When Johnny died
All the little kids cried
For the hero, villains fear
Was no longer here

Children & War

Malnourished, tattered clothes
Bedraggled they are
These children of war

They live with fear
A constant threat
The groaning of the dying

They see the dead
Rotting corpses of their family
Lives scarred for evermore

Scrounging titbits to sustain
Their only joy, heartache and pain
A family wrenched apart by conflict

No hope for the future
Hardened souls they become
Their future, boy soldiers in the war

My Precious Child

I FEEL THIS PAIN SO DEEP INSIDE,
AND NOW THERE'S NO WHERE TO HIDE.
ALL I'VE EVER WANTED TO DO,
IS LOVE AND PROTECT YOU,
ALAS I FAILED AND REALLY BADLY TOO.

I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN,
NOW WHERE THE SUN SHONE, THERE'S DARK CLOUDS
FILLED WITH RAIN
HE TOOK AWAY YOUR INNOCENCE DESTROYED THAT PRECIOUS CHILD,
I LONG FOR THE DAYS WHEN YOU WERE CAREFREE AND WILD.
YOU NEVER SAY A WORD BUT I KNOW HE'S THERE,
STILL GRIPPING YOUR MIND WITH FEAR.

YOU'RE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STRONG LITTLE MAN,
I KNOW THAT FOR YOU GOD HAS A SPECIAL PLAN.
SO FEAR NO MORE MY BABY BOY,
JUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE LOVE & JOY.

Humanity

On a cold,dark,silent street
the wind whispers with the sound of feet
an open alley brings with it greed
where beggars fight and scratch and bleed
where hobo rats bring with desease
a beggars heart slows down to cease
of cold and years of stale bread
no one knows that he is dead
a dog walks by and sheds a tear
for loss of hope and growing fear
humanity has lost its love
now all we do is push and shove
so many lives lost within each hour
in the struggle to become the superpower
a silence after every war
bloodshed worse than the one before
a world where cops are the most corrupt
and governments have given up
time stands still and a nation cries
as yet another person dies
this is the land that they call free
but my story tells of reality
as dawn approaches the body is found
and death has come without a sound
the only witness a lonely dog
that disappeared within the fog