Crumbled In Steps

Taken away from my beloved country. I
am a son to those who would stand outside,
call my name and I would  answer "Im
comming". Sitting and facing backwards on
a raft on the dask of the lastday before the begining
of the new moon of rains. The transaction
had been made and I captivated.

Across my head, past my ears, over my shoulders
the cold.. cold wind blew as I sat and watched
the land drift away and a  new life would begin.

Taken away from my beloved country . I ,
I am a brother to those with two left hands.
Sitting and facing backwards in a raft, my ears
fall deaf to the tone of their voices, but hands idle
to their call. Im tied up to a solid post.

Over waters, in the sea to which my life line extends
to snap from the motherland of many who pride their
graves for having fallen in fought of that beloved land.

Taken away from my beloved country. I, I ..I used
to be a man. A man to that, that knew my place in a
home. Sitting and facing backwards in a raft, my left
leg had broken, my crutch inaccessable. The pain was
excruciating.

Under the spell of daze in pain, I zoned to delusional thoughts
of the yet to be seen land of the pail. I couln't set foot.

Taken away from my beloved country. I, ..I, ….I
was a father.
Sitting and facing backwards in a cannoe. Helplessly
before my very eyes, I sew my world crumble, watched
my flesh get ripped apart.

In pain, I was killed………

the day before the day

There was calm in the still of the night
Neither a sound nor bat in flight
A frail withered man lay calmly on a bed
Just a sheet covered the man revealing only his head
A head of ash grey hair
Yet the face was fresh and fair
The man mustered a smile, hiding his pain
Pain which we could not bear
A comforting touch from the man’s wife
Gave him a momentary burst of life
For it was this woman that he’d come to love so dearly
Around the bed, three young men sat, his sons clearly
Silence filled the room like water in a glass
We all knew that the time had come to pass
For it was the day before the day
That the man went on his way

i feel

i feel naked
exposed more than i can handle
u see thru me
all my faults and imperfections

i feel exposed
like a can of worms has jus been opened
u no me
no all my secrets and desires

i feel broken
like a shattered glass
u feel me
feel all my pain and sorrow

i feel sad
like a kid that lost its favourite pet
u hold me
and i can feel my frustrations melting away

i feel fragile
like a new born baby
u touch me
and my heart starts to race

i feel vulnerable
like a heart thats broken for the first time
u taste me
and all my resistance crumbles

i feel wounded
like a soldier in a war
u want me
but im afraid to let go

i feel lonely
like a stranger in a new town
i dont no who i am
and nobody can give me answers

i feel used
like a dirty old sock
u want me
but u dont want my heart

i feel …….
i feel ……
i feel ……
LIKE IM DYING INSIDE
and u will never realise how i really feel

u will never see ME
u only see me

PAIN AND MISERY

WHEN I WAS A KID I USE TO LOOK UP TO U
NOW THAT IM ALL GROWN UP I CANT STAND THE THINGS U DO
U GO OUT AND GET DRUNK AND EMBARRES US ALL THE TIME
SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT WITHOUT U MY LIFE WUD B FINE

I NO I SHUDNT FEEL THE WAY THAT I DO
BUT I CANT HELP IT COZ ITS HURTING THE FAMILY AND DEEP DOWN U MUST NO THATS TRUE
HAVE U EVER WONDERED Y I HARDLY BRING ANYBODY HOME?
OR Y NO -ONE EVER COMES VISIT ME AND IM ALWAYS HERE ON MY OWN

ITS COZ IM AFRAID OF HOW U WUD LOOK WEN  THEY COME HERE
THE THOUGHT OF THEM SEEING U LIKE THIS, TO ME IS A CONSTANT FEAR
I DONT LIKE WOT IT IS DOING TO THE PPL I CARE ABOUT
SEEING U LEAVE THE BOTTLE IS SOMETHING I SERIOUSLY DOUBT

FOR GODS SAKE OPEN UR EYES AND STOP UR SHIT
BEFORE ITS TOO LATE AND U GONNA WONDER WOT HAPPENED TO THE PPL U LOVE
I CANT HANDLE IT KASAM I CANT DEAL WITH IT
I HOPE AND PRAY FOR HELP FROM THE MAN ABOVE

U HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR MANY YEARS OF UR LIFE
JUST STEP OUTSIDE URSELF AND SEE WOT THIS IS DOING TO UR WIFE
ALL SHE WANTS IS FOR U TO STOP THIS THING U DO
SO THAT SHE CAN BE HAPPY AND NOT HATE WOTS BECOME OF U

I ASK U FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART TO WAKE UP AND ACT LIKE A MAN
OR ILL SHOW U WOT ILL DO AND TRUST ME I CAN
ILL MAKE U WISH THAT IT WAS JUST ALL A DREAM
PULL URSELF TOGETHER AND GET URSELF CLEAN

SO THIS IS ALL THE THINGS I FEEL INSIDE
THESE ARE THE FEELINGS I ALWAYS TRY TO HIDE
THE SMILE ON MY FACE THAT IS ALWAYS THERE
IS AS FAKE AS BALD MAN WITH ALOTA HAIR

U SHUD SEE THE PAIN U ARE PUTTING US THRU
COZ I PROMISE U WEN U SEE AND FEEL IT …..
THEN DRINKING WUD BE THE LAST THING U WUD EVER WANNA DO

Africa ho senyehile kae?

Hoseng ka matjeke re tsoswa ke o moholo mokgosi;
Re bona hlopha sa batho se bokanetse setopo;
Topo sa morwetsana thoteng thoko ho motse;
Ehlile borwetsana bo nkuwe ka qophello;
Thipa mpeng e bata poo!
O hutswe a betwa, a bolawa;
Madi ona ha ke sa buwa;

Jo nna!Utlwa seboko seo
Le ha ebe o ne a lebelletse;
A lebelletse lesea ngwana monyane;
O mmolaile le pele a tswala;
O mmolaile a le popelong ya mme Motswadi;
Ha feela thota ne e ka bua
Ne re tla tseba na ke bo mang ba bokgopo?

Ba kgaba ka ho bona madi;
Oh Afrika ho senyehile kae?
Ho etsahetseng ka motho ke motho ka batho;
Tjhankaneng ho tletse tswete;
Polao,peto,tlhekefetso;
Oh Afrika ho senyehile kae;

Alien (a parody)

Welcome earthling, welcome to your pain,
I'll start first by examining your brain,
My eyes are oval and as black as night,
my intention is to give you a fright,
Please don't resist, it will be over soon,
as soon as I draw your blood with a spoon,
I am the Them and I am the They,
my dear puny friend, begin to pray,
Your abduction was just for fun,
Please play with me and don't you run.

Girl with wounds

Nobody likes the girl
that stands alone
Nobody likes the scars
on her body
Nobody wants to see
the pain thát clearly
On her arm roads have
been travelled
Little red patterns
Nobody knows where
she hides
Or the thoughts in her mind
They never tried
Friends just threw everything
back in her face
Not wanting to have anything
to do with it
Couldn't handle it
Just adding another pattern
to her arm
Making way for her to
walk by
A ghost in disguise
Floating from one thing
to another
Never uttering a word
about her wounds
Nobody dares to get close

Abortion

Sitting now and crying out
O the pain, you’ll never be the same
What would he have said if you
Told him?
Can’t tell him now.
What a mess the little
Life in you is now dead
Won’t ever feel the joy
Of holding your son on your arms.
You killed a life so you could just
Keep your love, a love that has
Never been true
Now you see that too
How could you be so blind,
Trust in someone that wont
Even let you keep a life
Broken and hurting inside, you
Heard its cry they told you it
Wasn’t even alive.
The scars and memories will never leave
You miss what could have been
O the pain you have to live with for
The rest of your life.

Can’t explain

You thought he would change
After all these years
still you only look
while he raise his hand
the pain unbearable this time
feelings feel the same
Your love  you give,
only given back by hate.
I lie awake and try to
think of someting
that would stop your pain,
But you hide from me
you hide away-
it might come again
he just raise his hand
It tears everything inside
the pain unbearable this time
Crying in your bed
not knowing how it all began
You need to turn and walk away
you deserve better than him.
fight with all your might
when he raise his hand
just run away…
Giving in again
he will make you fade away
Bastard raised his hand
You need to flee again
I still don't see how you
go back to him again
You told me it was unbearable pain
but the love you feel has always
been the same
I guess its something
one can't explain.

hope is all we have

like fools we follow, blind as sheep
silent evils we all keep
we cannot help but feel the pain
when another person goes insane
though lately no one seems to care
the pain is ours alone to bare
I notice it in every face
dying is the human race
how can I be proud to say
I am human anyway?
you care only for yourself
trying to gain the most wealth
"money makes the world go round"
isn’t that an awful sound?
poverty spreading everywhere
governments pretend to care
we know the truth is they do not
they only value what they’ve got

looking up with tears in my eyes
as the world darkens, at the cloudy skies
the day draws near
and my heart stills with fear
the question on everyone’s mind
who will die, and who's left behind
going about from day to day
wont make the reality go away
we might not live to see the end
on that alone you can depend

we try and try with all our might
but never can we win the fight
darkness consuming every light
days turning into night
we fight a battle bound to loose
this path wasn’t ours to choose
forced by those who say they care
but in the battles, they aren’t there
sitting on the throne they built
never feeling any guilt
a thousand dying every day
for us a loss, for them its play

we are bound to this dismal fate
our children growing up with hate
hope is all that will keep us alive
and hope is what we must all for strive
for even in the darkest place
hope can recognize your face